How to Talk to Your Tween or Teen About Technology

Nikita Goldovsky
Phone School
Published in
2 min readFeb 2, 2024

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Talking to your tween or teen about technology can be challenging but crucial for fostering a healthy and responsible relationship with digital devices and online spaces. Here are some effective ways to approach this conversation:

1. Start with Curiosity, Not Judgment: Begin the conversation by asking about their favorite apps, games, and websites. Show genuine interest in what they enjoy online and why. This opens up a dialogue that is based on mutual respect rather than suspicion or judgment.

2. Educate Through Engagement: Instead of lecturing, engage in activities together that involve technology. Play their favorite video game with them, watch a YouTube video they recommend, or explore a new app together. This gives you insight into their digital world and provides a natural segue into discussions about online safety, privacy, and etiquette.

3. Set Boundaries Together: Discuss and set reasonable boundaries for technology use together. This could involve screen time limits, appropriate content guidelines, and online behavior expectations. Involving them in the decision-making process helps them understand the reasons behind the rules and makes them more likely to follow them.

4. Discuss Online Safety and Privacy: Talk about the importance of privacy settings, strong passwords, and the risks of sharing personal information online. Use real-life examples to illustrate the consequences of online actions, but avoid scare tactics that might lead to them shutting down or hiding their online behavior from you.

5. Share Your Own Experiences and Concerns: Be open about your own experiences with technology, including any mistakes you’ve made or concerns you have. This can help demystify the adult perspective and make you more relatable.

6. Encourage Critical Thinking: Discuss how to critically evaluate online information and the importance of cross-checking facts before accepting them as true. Highlight the risks of echo chambers and confirmation bias in shaping their perceptions.

7. Promote a Healthy Balance: Encourage activities that don’t involve screens to ensure a healthy balance between digital and real-world experiences. Discuss the importance of face-to-face interactions, outdoor activities, and offline hobbies.

8. Be a Role Model: Demonstrate responsible and balanced technology use in your own life. Your actions will always speak louder than words, so be mindful of your own screen time, the content you consume, and how you engage with technology.

9. Keep the Conversation Going: Make discussions about technology a regular part of your dialogue. Check in frequently about what they’re doing online, any new apps or games they’re using, and how they’re feeling about their digital interactions.

10. Provide Support and Guidance: Let them know that you’re always there to support and guide them through any difficulties they might encounter online. Make sure they understand that they can come to you with any questions or concerns, without fear of judgment or punishment.

By approaching the conversation with empathy, openness, and a willingness to listen, you can help your tween or teen navigate the complex digital world more safely and responsibly.

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Nikita Goldovsky
Phone School

Data Geek. Professional Dad. Still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.